


Wish Her the Best

by rizlowwritessortof



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Dean POV, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 16:48:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13127652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rizlowwritessortof/pseuds/rizlowwritessortof
Summary: This is a Dean drabble that’s been tearing at my heart ever since I first heard “Marry Me” by Thomas Rhett...





	Wish Her the Best

I shouldn’t be here.

But I had to come.

I’m just gonna sit here in the middle of the back row and keep my head down. I mean, I don’t know anybody here. Nobody but her. I’m sure she didn’t think I’d come, and damn it – I shouldn’t have. I shouldn’t have. What the hell was I thinking?

Yeah, she called. She told me. She wanted me to know. Not because she was trying to hurt me, even though that’s what it did. Because my fucking heart doesn’t have any common sense, it doesn’t care if I’d ruin her life, it just wants to be with her. But my head knows better, my conscience tells me that I did what I had to do when I left her. I would have dragged her down with me, into all the blood and pain, chaos and death. She’s too good for the world I live in. She always was.

I didn’t answer her call. She left me a voice mail, one I’ve listened to about a hundred times. “Dean, it’s me. I called because… Well, I’m getting married. And I called to tell you that I will always -  _always_  – love you. What I have with Brad is – well, it’s good, but it’s different. I’ll never have what I had with you, and I just wanted you to know this was happening but that I still – I will always – love you. I wish things could have been different. And I hope someday things can be different for you, too.”

She was crying through the whole thing, and it rips into my heart every time I listen, but…

Well, here we go. Music, and bridesmaids coming down the aisle. A little girl tossing handfuls of rose petals, some tiny dude in a tux carrying the rings on a pillow like it’s the most important job in the world. And now the music’s getting louder, and everybody’s standing up, turning around…

God, she’s beautiful. I can’t look directly at her, she takes my breath away. Maybe because I’ve got this huge lump in my throat.

The ceremony takes forever but not long enough, you know? I just wanna sit here and watch her, even it it’s killing me. ‘Cuz let’s be honest, this is the last time I’ll see her. Has to be.

Finally, it’s over. They come back down the aisle, smiling and laughing, and the ushers are letting people out from the front rows first, so I guess I’ll be here for a minute. My head’s spinning with memories of her. Sam and I finding her all beat up, the first time I kissed her, the first night we spent together… that week we took off and stayed by the lake, pretended the rest of the world didn’t exist. The night I told her I couldn’t be with her any more.

Okay, wow, that went way too fast. Maybe I can slip out a side door or something. But no, too many people surrounding me, guess I’ll just go with it.

There she is, shaking hands and getting hugged, her smile makes me want to just drop to my knees. I can do this. I’ll be fine. I mean, I could hang around, find her later on and tell her how I feel, but – there’s no way I’m messing things up for her. She deserves to be happy, have a life, a husband and kids and… Damn it, there goes that lump again.

I’m getting closer every second. Next person that steps up, I just slip out of line and right out the door. Nobody notices in this crowd. Just get to the Impala and get the hell out of here, they’ll be leaving any time now. I’m parked on a side street behind the church, away from the parking lot so I can get away before she sees me. I’m halfway there when I hear her call my name, and I feel like somebody punched me in the gut.

“Dean, wait.” She comes running to me, white billowing around her, and grabs my hand. “I can’t believe you’re here.” She looks up into my eyes, and I can see tears shining in hers. “I don’t know what to say.”

I hold my arms out, afraid to just hug her without her permission, but she steps right into them and I hold her tight for just a minute. Then I step back, try to keep my damn hands from shaking, and lean down to kiss her on the forehead. “Just say you’ll be happy, sweetheart. That’s all I want, for you to be happy.”

Her face just scrunches up a little, she’s trying not to cry, but she’s strong. Hell, she’s stronger than me, always has been. She gives me a little nod, then she’s on her tiptoes kissing me, soft and quick. And then - she’s gone.

I stand there for a minute; honestly, I’m not sure I can move. But I finally force myself to turn back around, walk the rest of the way to the car. I just sit in Baby, gripping that steering wheel till my hands ache. At least my flask is in the pocket of my coat.

__**She’s got on her dress now, welcoming the guests now  
I could try to find her, get it off of my chest now  
But I ain’t gonna mess it up, so I’ll wish her the best now…**

__

__**So I’m in my black suit, black tie, hiding out in the back  
Doing a strong shot of whiskey straight out the flask  
I’ll try to make it through without crying so nobody sees  
Yeah, she wants to get married  
But she ain’t gonna marry me**

 


End file.
